


Forgettable

by mothmanfluff



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: America being America (Hetalia), Awesome Prussia (Hetalia), Brothers America & Canada (Hetalia), Fluff, France Being France (Hetalia), Gen, Happy Ending, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Shippy, Panic Attacks, Poor Canada (Hetalia), Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, World Meeting (Hetalia)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-01-20 22:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21289496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmanfluff/pseuds/mothmanfluff
Summary: Matthew (Canada) laments, about going to a meeting, goes anyway, and panics.
Relationships: America & Canada (Hetalia), Canada/Prussia (Hetalia)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. Time to face the day.

Matthew was proud to represent his people, but they deserved better, he was sure of it. Matthew wasn't quiet in a peaceful and diligent way like Kiku, he wasn't charismatic in a joyful and laid-back fun to be around manner like Feliciano. 

Maybe those are the reasons Matthew won't be coming to the meeting today, even if it was being held in his brother's country. Maybe Matthew knows he isn't going to be missed. Maybe it's doubtful anyone would even notice he's gone. Or maybe Matthew is just tired and feels he doesn't meet the emotion criteria to do anything today. Matthew's reasons behind his decision really don't matter, he didn't really matter anyway. He's not going to the meeting, why would he even bother? 

If you asked Alfred, he would probably say his relationship with his brother was fine (if he remembered he had a brother). If you asked Matthew, he might say 'he has forgotten my birthday for a few years now' or maybe I'm just tired of getting beaten up when I'm mistaken for him'. Honestly speaking, Matthew would never say such things about Alfred, never loudly enough for him to hear anyway. Alfred is also a bit too airheaded to know how his brother feels, and Matthew is too nice to hold a grudge for long. Was that how families were supposed to act? 

Matthew let out a long sigh as he laid back on his bed. There wasn't a reason to get out of bed. Today wouldn't be any better than yesterday, or the day before. Time often had a dulled effect on those who were given the 'gift' of immortality. Why did he represent the world's second largest country? Matthew let his mind wander from topic to topic, politics, hockey, his hunger and yet unwillingness to prepare any proper food, until he was interrupted. 

"It's time to leave you know" Kuma.... Kuma...something said reminding Matthew that he was still perched on the wooden table he had been left on. The bear had a tendency to interrupt his owner's thoughts...whatever his name was.

"I'm uh... not feeling too well, I think I'll skip the meeting today" was Matthew's quiet response, a half-truth. Matthew, just didn't believe he was emotionally prepared to face the world today. It didn't seem like the world was ever ready to face him anyway (or acknowledge him), with how often he was forgotten or mistaken for his brother.

A long pause... although he wasn't a man of many words, excluding times when word vomit nervously tumbled out of his mouth as he sweated bullets, Matthew was sure he could write a full-length novel on how the eyes of his beloved bear friend seemed to dig into his soul. Kuma was a life-long companion, and a dear friend to Matthew, but long stretches of silence from the bear was incredibly nerve-wracking. 

"You're lying" the small bear pointed out after what could of been hours. It wasn't hours. It really didn't matter.

Living with someone as long as Kumamiro(?) had, you can read them like a book. Weird isn't it that while he couldn't remember his owner's name Kuma... (just Kuma since it's easier to remember) could still see through Matthew's intentions so transparently.

"N-no I'm not lying I really don't feel well" Matthew protested, he was perfectly healthy, he just didn't feel well emotionally. Matthew would rather lament about his feelings the whole day than talk to another human being, or country for that matter. After all, solace was always found in solitude, and not in the presence of noisy countries. 

______________________________________________ 

Matthew did, unfortunately go to the meeting, sure the argument between him in his bear had slowed down the process, but all it did was delay the inevitable. Going to America and sitting through another boring meeting, where he would invariably be ignored was not his idea of fun.


	2. Matthew is invisible, nothing changed, nothing ever changes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew feels invisible, that much he has gotten used to, but he is not used to the silence around him when there should be noise, and where is everybody???

Trudging down the hall to the meeting he was dreading, Matthew gave a low sigh. The bear seemed determined to get him to the meeting by any means necessary, the reason for this still eluded the Canadian. Kuma seemed proud of himself for getting his owner through the door, even if he was left at home for today. 

Thinking back to Kuma, their 'squabble' this morning had lasted a while, which meant Matthew had to hurry to the meeting he was already late to. Being late also meant breakfast had been skipped. Warm stacks of fluffy, and warm pancakes Drizzled with maple syrup that managed to bring smiles to dreary mornings. Matthew considered his possible breakfast, one that could have been reality if not for his unwillingness to face the world. Matthew also took the time to think about the dull ache of hunger in his stomach on his way to the meeting. Today has not proven to be His day, GREAT! that was just great!

With this pessimistic attitude towards the day Matthew pursued other reasons today sucked, he hasn't talked to Gilbert in a while, he was sure he looked like a mess, and did he always feel so tired or was he just being grumpy today?

Matthew made his way to meeting, without interruption, coasting from thought to thought, and wordlessly planning out his day. Occupying himself with his thoughts, he reached the door to the meeting rather quickly. When he opened the door though, there was no Arthur and Britain fighting, there was also no Flirting Frenchman, or terrifying Russian with an oddly cheerful look on their face. There was no one in the meeting room. It was totally deserted. 

Matthew immediately felt his stomach drop, something felt incredibly wrong. Quickly he pulled out his phone checking messages, already fearing the worst.

Nothing, no new messages, from anyone.

...Okay. maybe Matthew had just gotten the day wrong? Or possibility Matthew had gotten the time wrong? Matthew flipped through his phone to see the email which had been forwarded to him the week before by Francis when he was forgotten on the email list... again.

Nope, not that either. 

The time and date on the email matched up with the current date, well roughly, it seemed Matthew was about twenty-five minutes late. And backing out of the room to look at the room name showed that it was the correct room.

How frustrating.

At this point, If Matthew was being honest he wanted to simultaneously burst into tears, and cry. Matthew resolved to do neither of those things of course. He lived in fear on how he represented his people, over thirty million lives rested on his tired, and incapable shoulders. These thoughts weren't helping, and crying wouldn't help his situation either. Matthew wished for his bear to hug, as childish as it sounded Matthew did enjoy holding his friend close to his heart in times of panic.

Quickly checking his phone again Matthew could feel the sweat gathering at his forehead, and the nauseating anxious feeling in his stomach. Sighing, Matthew walked out of the meeting to hopefully find someone, anyone who might know what was going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Hey  
So I posted another chapter and Prussia was literally only mentioned once, but I'm still figuring out exactly where I want the story to go. Comment any mistakes you find, or spots I could improve, and I hope you have enjoyed the story so far :)


	3. Hey?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canada finds everybody, and maybe wishes he hadn't.

Matthew was in the bathroom, staring intently at his reflection, as if it could offer him any answers. It was better than locking himself up in a stall, and riding out a panic attack as quickly and quietly as possible (this had happened many times). He was never caught in the midst of one, and would thankfully never need to explain himself.

It wasn't as if Matthew didn't try looking for his friends... colleagues, Matthew mentally corrected himself. Matthew wasn't sure he actually had friends. He had allies. He had his family. He even had Gilbert, though their relationship seemed... complicated (it wasn't that complicated, they were actual friends) Matthew had tried looking for his fellow counties, but there were only so many times you could walk looking for something, somebody who wasn't there before you got irritated. Matthew hit his limit after looking for them for about half an hour. After hitting his 'limit' Matthew definitely didn't go into the bathroom to cry. He would stand by the statement that he didn't.

Checking his phone once more Matthew considered going home. After his 'conversation' with Kuma this morning going home did seem like throwing in the towel . Matthew may not be very brave, but he didn't like giving in, much like his brother.

Matthew groaned. Come on! Think, Matthew think, where could they be? Where would a group of people be if they weren't inside. Matthew thought for bit longer than he really should of before mentally face palming at the answer he came up with.

_"If someone is not Inside then they are probably outside."___

_ __ _

Matthew never claimed to be a genius, he wasn't sure he even had average intelligence. He lightly smiled at that notion. No country could truly be considered 'average', everyone had their quirks. That thought gave Matthew some solace. He wasn't average, he was forgettable, to be sure, and maybe too quiet, and complacent to a fault. maybe those were his quirks?

_ __ _

With new-found emotional strength Matthew smiled at himself one last time, and pushed the door to the bathroom open.

_ __ _

\--

_ __ _

Opening the door to leave the building, Matthew was met with a sight he didn't expect. Everyone was outside 'hanging out'. It was shocking to see everyone actually having a good time. Countries that would usually be tiredly talking over politics were talking and laughing. In the crowd some blew bubbles, while others drew cats and other cute creatures with chalk.

_ __ _

It was a marvelous sight to behold. Countries who represented millions of people, beings who were thousands of years old, had fought in many life threatening wars, and had the scars to prove it were shamelessly playing with kids toys. It all seemed so ridiculously fitting for the countries.

_ __ _

The Canadian couldn't help but smile at the sight (although he was slightly upset he wasn't invited to join). It might be best if he left and didn't interrupt their fun. Matthew now knew why no one was at the meeting, and home sounded nice. Matthew had also just been crying a few minutes prior, and didn't trust his voice. Leaving was for the best, as it often was for Matthew. He didn't mind being alone too much anyway, why would he want to ruin someone else's time. 

_ __ _

"Hey! The second most awesome person has arrived!" as if on que Gilbert's loud statement made Matthew's presence obnoxiously known. Attention was not something Matthew wanted right now, but he didn't have much of a say in the matter.

_ __ _

Heads turned to the proclaimed 'second most awesome person'. Matthew felt his insides turn. He took back what he had thought about being invisible. The mortifying ordeal of being known was unbearable. Matthew hoped he didn't look as nervous as he felt.

_ __ _

Gilbert stood from the place he was crouched next to his brother. It was so nice to see Mattie! They didn't get to see each other too much. Gilbert jogged over to his friend, almost bursting with excitement. This only made more turn to look at Matthew. Gilbert rarely got so excited over anything about someone else.

_ __ _

The excited gleam in Gilbert's events coupled with the inquisitive looks from seemingly every country in existence was too much. Matthew felt sobs rising in his throat (that he would not let escape). His head felt hot. Legs wobbled nervously. Matthew searched frantically, but whatever he seemed to be looking for alluded even himself. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, if that dear was about to pass out at any moment.

_ __ _

Gilbert came to a halt in front of Matthew, a smile easing off his face as he saw his friend. The smile was replaced by a concerned look, one that didn't quite fit his face. _Oh god why was everyone still staring.___

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

"Mattie hey... are you okay?" Gilbert put a hand on his friend's shoulder to calm him. This had the opposite effect of what was intended, Matthew flinched violently, and Gilbert quickly moved his hand back, looking slightly hurt.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

His breath caught in his throat. Gilbert was too close. Everyone was still looking. _Why were they still looking_. his Colleagues eyes felt piercing. They saw Matthew's soul in a way that he himself could never. He felt so clammy, and his heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest. God... they even looked like they were having fun before. Matthew really regretted interrupting their fun (he really had no say in the matter, since Gilbert was the one who drew everyone's attention). __

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Gilbert felt like an idiot. The way Mattie flinched so hard when he was touched. The glassy look in his eyes that caught Gilbert's before quickly looking away. Something wasn't right with Mattie, and Gilbert wasn't sure what to do. Gilbert turned his head to see many of his friends giving Matthew concerned, and empathetic looks.

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

How could he help Matthew?

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Arthur, Alfred, And Francis Turned to each other. They each wore understanding looks, how could they help Mattie?

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Not a moment later a loud smack broke the uncomfortable silence. This smack was followed by a lot of yelling.

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine that China, Japan, and Greece were drawing cats in the chalk, while Lichtenstein convinced big brother Switzerland to join them.  
I was also gonna do this in three parts (I'm not sure anymore).  
Correct me in the comments if I'm wrong about anything (grammar, spelling, etc) or just comment if ya liked it~


	4. A distraction?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew is bad at emotions, _very bad_, what a shame Gilbert is also emotionally inept (but trying his best).__

Oh god why did he do that. Everyone was blurry. A fuzzy feelings in the back of his skull was arising. He ruined everything. Why didn't he just leave? Why was he crying? Why couldn't he stop?

He truly didn't mean to ruin the moment! They all looked like they were having so much fun. He interrupted them and ruined everything, and now he was crying about it! It didn't even matter if their looks were ones of pity, or annoyance, they all burned him alive. He was just going to leave... but Gilbert.

Gilbert! He was still there. Matthew looked to Gilbert, though he was blurry, clear frustration (sadness?) Was etched onto his face. Matthew immediately felt bad for upsetting him, and flinching away from his touch. Gil was probably just trying to help. But the thought of being touched right now, of being known at all, was far too much, and Matthew quickly felt himself overwhelmed.

Matthew vaguely noticed the slap, and all the yelling that followed it. It was all indecipherable, and Matthew couldn't bring himself to focus on any bit of it. What he did focus on was the lack of eyes on him. 

As odd as it was, Matthew felt strangely comforted by everyone ignoring him, even if it was in favor of an erupting argument that seemed very loud. Matthew did appreciate his powers of invisibility, and it seemed rather useful currently. Even Gilbert's eyes shifted to the scene before glancing back at the still very clearly shaken up Canadian. Matthew still wasn't sure how he felt about Gilbert still looking at him. 

Matthew didn't look up for a bit, but when he did manage to look up from his feet he was startled by the sight.

Francis was yelling with tears pricking his eyes (crocodile tears, Matthew had learned to tell the difference). Arthur, gaping, held his hand over the now prominent red hand-shaped mark on his cheek. The show drew an audience, and Matthew was grateful to feel their eyes off him.

Gilbert didn't seem to care about the commotion. Worry etched into his face, as he focused on Matthew. It wasn't right. Matthew had ruined everything. He was pathetic. He ruined the simple party that slept as an 'important meeting' and woke as Matthew in tears tumbling headfirst into a panic attack. All for what? Not being included? like that was anything new.

Maybe it was pity, maybe it was a deep resolve to help someone he cared about that drove Gilbert's actions, it didn't seem like Gilbert knew as he spoke as softly as he could. "Sorry... I really should of asked.... Matthew can I touch you?" Gilbert's voice betrayed sign of mockery, or pity. It sounded like he genuinely cared, and Matthew didn't want to look into it any further than that. 

Matthew nodded as he finally caught the bright red eyes. He could still feel tremors going through his body, and he still felt like his legs would give, but Gilbert was (for some reason) a very comforting presence.

Keeping his movements as slow and predictable as possible Gilbert lightly grabbed his hand, and held it to his own chest. Matthew felt the rhythmic heartbeat, and slow breathing at his fingertips. The heartbeat reverberated throughout the Canadian's body as he focused on the constant, grounding feeling. His heart seemed to mimic Gilbert's, finally slowing down a bit. They stayed like that for a few moments, as Matthew took in deep breaths to mimic Gilbert. He rested his head against Gilbert's Shoulder and tried his best to calm down. 

"Matthew... follow me okay?" Gilbert said slowly moving the Canadian off his shoulder. Gilbert was trying his best to comfort Matthew, but he didn't have any experience with panic attacks. He wasn't sure what triggered it, but Matthew seemed in a much better emotional state than he was a few moments ago. Gilbert was grasping at straws, he knew this, but he didn't think being surrounded by people was the best thing for Matthew.

With the hand that held Matthew's hand to his heart, Gilbert led Matthew back through the meeting building. No one seemed to notice them leaving as the argument between Francis and Arthur reached a boiling point, with Alfred joining in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it took me a month -.-  
It is also 2am currently so I might of made a few mistakes, I'm sorry, and I will hopefully fix them come morning.  
Happy Holidays! Today is also Christmas if you celebrate that, and are reading this the day I am posting it  
:) comment, kudo, let me know what ya thought, and I'll see you guys next time!


End file.
